How to Change Your Habits, One at a Time

Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

This old saying has been credited to everyone from Lao Tzu to Margaret Thatcher's father. Whoever said it first, the middle of it is well supported by research: what we do every day, almost without thinking, shapes our health far more than our occasional big efforts.

The good news is that habits can be changed. The less-good news is that it takes longer than the "21 days" you may have heard.

How habits form

A habit is a behaviour triggered automatically by a cue: a place, a time of day, or something you've just done. Brush your teeth, and you reach for the floss without deciding to. Sit on the sofa after dinner, and a snack appears.

In a 2010 study at University College London, people chose one new healthy habit, like drinking a glass of water after breakfast or taking a walk before dinner, and reported daily how automatic it felt. On average it took 66 days to become automatic. Simple habits like drinking water formed faster; more demanding ones, like daily exercise, took longer.

Importantly, missing an occasional day didn't make a real difference. What mattered was coming back to it.

Five steps to a new habit

1. Choose one

It's tempting to overhaul everything on 1 January. Pick just one habit to start. When it feels automatic, add the next.

2. Make it tiny

Start smaller than you think you need to. Not "exercise for an hour", but "walk to the end of the road after dinner". Not "cut out sugar", but "have plain yoghurt instead of fruit yoghurt at breakfast". You can grow it once it's established.

3. Anchor it to something you already do

This is sometimes called habit stacking. "After I pour my morning coffee, I'll drink a glass of water." "After I finish dinner, I'll put on my walking shoes." The existing habit becomes the cue.

4. Make it easy, and the old habit harder

Put the fruit bowl on the counter and the biscuits in a high cupboard. Leave your walking shoes by the door. Fill a water bottle the night before. Small changes to your surroundings do a lot of the work for you.

5. Be kind when you slip

Everyone misses days. What matters is the next day. Guilt and "I've ruined it" thinking are much bigger threats to a new habit than a single slip.

Habits worth building

Here are some of the most valuable small habits, each covered in more depth elsewhere on the shelf:

• Drink a glass of water before breakfast. Easy, cheap and a good first habit. See one glass of water and 30 minutes.
• Walk every day. The World Health Organization recommends 150 minutes of moderate activity a week: about 30 minutes, five days a week.
• Read labels for added sugar before something goes in the trolley. Our label-reading guide shows how.
• Eat more slowly and mindfully. Put your fork down between bites and notice when you're comfortably full.
• Cook at home more often. Even simple meals are usually lower in sugar, salt and calories than takeaways, and many people find cooking relaxing.
• Protect your sleep. Keep regular hours, and give yourself a wind-down half hour without screens.
• Build in connection. Good relationships reduce stress and support health. Make a regular date to call or see a friend.

A simple plan for the next two months

1. This week: choose one habit from the list above and decide on its cue.
2. Write it down: "After I ___, I will ___."
3. Tick it off on a calendar each day. Seeing a chain grow is motivating.
4. After four to eight weeks, if it feels automatic, add the next habit.

The bottom line

Lasting change rarely comes from dramatic overhauls. It comes from small, repeated actions that slowly become automatic. Choose one, make it tiny, tie it to something you already do, and give it the two months it needs.